my power is your power

Our deepest fear is not that we are
inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are we
NOT to be?
You are children of God.
Your playing small doesn't
serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about
shrinking so that other people won't
feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the
glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us,
it's in everyone.
As we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we liberate from our own fears,
our presence automatically
liberates others.

-- Nelson Mandela


One very very boring day, I found myself doing this --
pretty narcissistic, wouldn't you say?

the way of the jesuits

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is,
than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything.

It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you will do with your evenings,
how you spend your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read,
what you know that breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

-- Pedro Arrupe, SJ

presenting... my other life

Chen Ling & Han Qi Luo, Cha Song-Ju & Han Jung-Suh, Han Ki-Joo & Kang Tae-Young, Jung Jae-Min & Lee Soo-Jung, Xiao Tao & Ah Li, Jun-Sang & Yoo-Jin...

Do you know any of these people?

These are the individuals, or as it may, couples, that make up my other life.. the life I have when I'm not out with friends or family, or when I'm not off to some party or long-anticipated reunion.

Do you get it?

When I am alone, this is what I do. This is my other profession, that if I actually made money out of this, I would definitely be a millionaire by now. A billionaire, on marathon days, perhaps.

What am I?

I'll keep you guessing.

I spend my days and nights with these people they are real.. they follow their hearts and take charge of situations I only wish I had enough courage to.

Sometimes I want to strangle some of them.. because many times their delay to execute an emotion can be quite frustrating.

Are you with me yet?

I love them.. love them all. I love them for their passion, their devotion, their sacrifices for each other in spite of all the circumstances that try to tear them apart. I especially love the way he holds her and the way he chases after the bus she's riding, as if there were no tomorrow.

Actually, I only love one thing.. their love.

I LOVE THEIR LOVE.

The day I find someone who will travel to whatever corner of the earth I have squeezed myself in to look for me, who will give up his entire career, his money (if he has any), the comfort of life as he knows it, to spend his life with me, is the day I am in trouble.

I am in trouble because I will fall in love in a heartbeat.

The secret of love
I thought I understood
The way it's supposed to be
I never imagined you could
blow my theory apart
and now you're running away with my heart

Arrows through hearts
drawn on a misty window
you're taking me home in the rain
my heart is beating
don't say no
my head keeps saying
take it slow

You're giving me a feeling
it's a sudden rush
acting on a moment
spontaneous
oooh this is not like me
to follow my heart so easily

I don't wanna think about it
don't wanna think clear
don't analyze
what I'm doing here
wanna be impulsive
reckless
and lose myself in your kiss

-- Wilson Phillips, IMPULSIVE


Losing myself in your kiss = TROUBLE = YEHEY.

I think we are getting off topic.

Did I mention these people do not know me? But I know them all so well.. as if they were the back of my hand. I memorized their names and stories by heart, it's preposterous.

Actually they aren't REALLY REAL. Especially not in the way the Velveteen Rabbit puts it. What is real for me is the personalities and eccentricities that are brought to life because of them.

What am I already?

Sige na nga, siret na.

I AM A TRUE BLUE... ATENEAN. Haha. Joke. (I really am but that's not it.)

I AM A BONAFIDE CHINOVELA, KOREANOVELA JUNKIE.

That's it.

I love them because they make me believe in something better.. that I should never SETTLE. NEVER EVER SETTLE for something, or somebody, for that matter, that I am not madly, ridiculously, insanely in love with.

Lover, are you there?

I can't wait to meet you.

In the meantime, take it easy.. today is yours.

Tomorrow is ours.


Do you understand me now?



In a perfect world, The Lover would be this sizzling specimen.

my thesistahs' surprise treat

It's truly amazing how people you are most closest to can feel you.. I really wanted a surprise birthday party and I even told my mom about it.

Little did I know one was already on the way for me!!

To tell you the truth, I really had no clue. I was raring to go for a blind date with someone Patty and Alessa told me about a while ago. Thinking that this was part of their birthday treat for me, I went to the parlor and dressed to make a good first impression. I didn't put any make-up because I knew Pat and Ale would take care of that for me.

With my hair all ironed and a girly outfit to boot, I was ready.

Off I went to Alessa's house with my parents and my brother Michael. When we arrived, I couldn't understand why there were so many cars parked on the street nor why the lights were on in Alessa's garden. My mom said she had to pee, then Michael said he had to go too. I couldn't understand why my dad went down from the car as well.

I was thinking, nakakahiya naman kay Ale, buong pamilya ko makikiihi.

Then I saw Patty's driver, Kuya Renante. He said, may surprise diyan para sa iyo.

I just couldn't get it. I was like, huh?

Then I saw Alessa's maid and told her to tell Ale that I was already there. When I was taking my parents to the restroom, I heard some noises at back. Rustling, and then.. a voice I knew so well...

Joan Bondoc.

What the hell was Joan doing here, I thought.

Then Alessa came in. She said some stuff to my dad about going out and that she was just going to get ready but in my mind I figured out what was coming. She brought me to the back and then in the dark I saw some streamers. I started laughing really hard and then...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought, uh-oh.. no make-up.

The lights came on and so many people were there! Boy, was I touched. Friends from high school and college were there to greet me a happy birthday. Everyone started making me beso and took so many pictures even before I could make my way down the foyer. There was so much food too, cheesesticks and cupcakes, tikoy and churros, and even an ice cream buffet!!


With my CUPCAKE cake

Roni, Kate, Kaich, Miam, Me, Xyn, Candice, Barbie

Macy, Nina, Me, Candice, Roni

Macky, Me, Joleon

Meet some of the sexy ladies who have held me together during high school, and until this day -- Cris, Kate, Yoya, Julia, Regine, Me, Joan, Ale, Jinkie, Nina

Thanks to Alessa and Patty for the sweet, sweet blow-out. =)

Thanks to all the kabarkadas, classmates, blockmates, friends, and boyfriends of my friends who swung by to greet and say hi.

Talk about wishes coming true. I had such a blast spending time with people who have made my life so rich and so full of laughter. Ang dami pala nagmamahal sakin!!! =)

Mahal ko rin kayo. (Ano ako, Sandara? Please.)

I feel the world gives me so much, I have so much to give back.

Thank you all, for making me feel as special as you have. I hope our being friends has made you feel how special you are to me as well.


Take care, you.